Liar
by Astonia
Summary: He watched, oblivious to a growing wave of grief rushing through him, Kanda kiss the girl. ‘Perfect for Kanda.’ Allen thought. ‘I should happy for him.' KANDA X ALLEN
1. Actions of Avoidance

**LIAR**

**FULL SUMMARY: Allen, always bashful and hesitant, found himself plunged in a mental state of uncertainly, doubt, regret and awareness. One day he catches Kanda kissing Kasha, a female exorcist. He claims that he hates the mentioned raven-haired teen, but does he really? Torn between his duties as an exorcist, and his overpowering emotions, Allen found that he was drawn, attracted to the samurai. He was never good at confessing nor does he have the guts to admit it. Kanda, aware of his growing fondness for the Moyashi, pushes those feelings away. All it takes was for someone to take the first step.**

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**Disclaimer: No, I don't own any of these characters.**

**NOTE: This story and plot were written with no regards to the ongoing manga.**

WELL, this is most certainly odd. I was suddenly plunged with such sorrow that I decide to write this fanfiction. All based on what I felt. I know it's really strange, but oh well…

When you get an inspiration, you just go with the flow! XD

Don't worry; this will definitely turn out a Yullen fanfiction.

I hope you enjoy this story, tell me what you think, I'd love to know what you feel about this chapter. Thanks. :) Happy reading, I suppose.

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**CHAPTER 1: Actions of Avoidance**

He watched, oblivious to a growing wave of grief rushing through him, Kanda kiss the girl. Kasha, the female exorcist was, without a doubt, beautiful. She was slim, gorgeous, with soft bouncy hair that glowed a radiant honeycomb color.

She has a figure that turned many heads. Giving men a perfectly sound reason to drool and ogle. The way she tosses her hair and laughs in a sweet, appreciative tone. The way she walks and practically floats around the place like heaven's angel. The way she smiles, blushing ever so delicately, and speaks with such grace, word has it that her popularity was greater than Lenalee's.

She was, what one would call, perfect.

'_Perfect for Kanda.'_ Allen thought. _'I should happy for him…'_

No. That was just crap. Happiness was a word so far detached from his current emotions; he should be called a cheap liar. A traitor.

_"You're a bloody liar…" _

_'W-what?'_

_'You heard me. I said you're a liar. You're anything but happy for him.'_ A small voice said.

Feeling ridiculously defensive, Allen shook his head, trying hard to sort out his thoughts.

'_You like him, don't you? But it's too late, now. So all you can do is watch him shag some other chick.'_

Allen didn't retort. Not just because he was rendered speechless by that statement. But because it was slicked in such reality and truth, he couldn't think logically. His movements were drowned in surmise.

'_It's not true…I hate him! I hate him with every fibre of my being.'_ Allen thought, entirely unconvinced. _'Kanda criticizes my worth every goddamn day of his life. I bet he enjoys watching me suffer. Why, in heaven's name, would I like a man like him? He's rude, uncouth and foul!'_

'_Tough words, Allen Walker. Really.'_ The debating voice resounded, yet again. _'I shall applaud you for acting so tough, despite the situation you're in.'_

Allen, ignoring the tugging pain in his mental state, silently left the cafeteria.

His departure did not go unnoticed by the raven-haired teen.

ooooo

Allen slumped himself onto the bed.

His room was dark – parts of it dimmer than the rest with the growing shadows.

He rested one hand on his stomach, the other behind his head, and peered through his stained-glass window.

The sky was darkening into a sinister blue, hovered with gray clouds. Odd enough, the moon was covered, hidden by those thick layers of atmosphere and evaporated water. It still glowed, ever so faintly, with a soft yellow color. Allen noticed that the stars, too, were concealed.

He felt like even the weather was hiding its face from the display at the cafeteria. It was, like his mental state, depressing. Horribly depressing.

'_Display?'_ Allen thought, a little sickened from the mental image. He replayed that _scene_ in his mind. His stomach churned, sick.

Well, that was most certainly a display of affection, wasn't it? Or maybe it was some weird, terrible joke?

Allen found himself, secretly, hoping for the latter. He never knew why. Nor was he keen on knowing.

As far as jokes or pranks were concerned, Allen knew, Kanda would never fall into those categories. The Japanese samurai was what he claimed 'too powerful' and 'too smart' to descend into such stupid cracks. So perhaps, the concept of Kanda making a joke didn't blend in too well.

It didn't make any sense, or some form of justified reasoning, anyway.

'_No. That's not it.'_ Allen thought. _'Kanda definitely likes Kasha. I'd seen them together before. It's just that...I never knew how deep their relationship was.'_

There. He said it. Those words stung him hard.

It was awful.

The heartrending taste of bitterness was smeared and tightly wounded around his being. The pain was, unmistakably, one of avoidance and depression. The self-inflicted emotional ache was cast on his hammering heart. Scared. Afraid.

He was so sure it would shatter into a million pieces.

He wanted to cry. To shout. To tear out this mortal taste which, often as one can assume, resulted from the human flaw.

He did cry. A little.

He tasted the salty tears that trickled down his cheeks. His eyes were filled with such melancholy and grief, it darkened into depths of agony.

'_I don't understand…why am I feeling this way? Why am I crying for…no reason whatsoever? This is just ridiculous.'_

Perhaps, it was, what Allen called – ridiculous. But deep inside his stirring, bleeding heart, his emotions were chaotic. They flooded with strong waves of anger, but carried a greater surge of…sadness.

Sadness. Allen Walker found he hated that word.

It tore and stained his rational thoughts. It made his heart skip a beat.

It tasted so bitter like opium - and yet, worse. You could not just throw up or remove bitterness from your life. It was a drug, a human flawed word that blemished every soul. It was also a sensitively administrated substance that changes or modifies your body, your temperament, and your state of emotions.

You would cry, wouldn't you? You would scream. You would feel like the lowest scum in the universe. Wallowing in self-guilt and a sea of darkness.

Those feelings, strongly felt by Allen, were harder and more dreadful than what one describes. In fact, it was beyond description. He didn't expect anyone to understand it either. It was what one commonly associates with – avoidance.

'_I really don't understand why I'm crying…'_ Allen thought, bitterly. _'Why? Why these tears? I'm anything but sad…really…'_

That was bullshit.

Yes, he doesn't have, nor could he find, a reason for self-pitying. Or so he thought. But really, a string and chorus of forbidden thoughts were erupting so heatedly in his chest, it might explode. But he pushed those, irrational (he claimed), feelings away.

He was escaping. A self-defense mechanism one used when waded so deep in sorrow, there was simply no other feasible solution. You could call him a coward for not facing up or confronting those issues – those burdening ones. But honestly?

Allen Walker was on the brink of depression.

Only which, he didn't know.

Maybe he did, and simply refused to believe it.

_Ignorance may be bliss…_

To forget and bury.

'Yes, that's right. I'm just going to sleep and tomorrow,' He said aloud to no one in particular. 'Everything will be just fine.'

The sides of his mouth quirked into a faint smile. It was one of painful denial. He felt as though he was trying to convince himself into believing those statements. It was dreadful - really dreadful.

But did he have a choice?

The kid was just foolish, silly even. It was impossible to forget the emotion twinge and cover them with dreams. What was he thinking? How long did he intend to avoid the issue?

It was, merely, just another form of escape.

He knew it. Or did he?

Allen Walker was hounded so closely by grief, his bitter thoughts channeled him to slumber. Unaware and oblivious to a guise of wretchedness plastered on his pale face.

ooooo

Kanda watched Allen leave the cafeteria soundlessly. No one noticed his departure, but him.

He saw the look of utter shock and sadness.

'_That Moyashi…'_ he thought.

He had hurt him, hadn't he?

'_That's just ridiculous,'_ the Japanese teen thought, bemused. _'Why the bloody hell do I care about him, anyway?'_

Yes, why? Much to Kanda's disappointment, he had found himself more drawn to the Moyashi than was proper. It wasn't like those thoughts were voluntary; they merely popped out, distressing his mental state.

His thoughts were just…attracted (because there was simply no other word for it) to the silver-haired kid. And they seem to hound him restlessly, chasing him even in his sleepless state.

More often than naught, he had pushed those thoughts, for a sensible explanation that it did very strange things to him.

They aren't, what Kanda called, normal.

In fact, he found it shameful and 'inappropriate for a high-leveled exorcist like him'.

What were those thoughts? Those feelings? Kanda shuddered, mentally, and refused to reflect a step farther.

"Kanda," Kasha beamed, flashing him another one of her beauty grin. "Do you want to leave now? Kanda?" She waved a hand in front of his face.

"Hmm?" Kanda asked, snapping out of his reverie. "What?"

Kasha's smile weakened a little. Kanda wasn't paying her the attention she wanted. She didn't like at all.

"I asked if you wanted to leave." She said, stroking his thigh flirtatiously. "We can go to my room."

"Fine." He said in a flat, dead tone.

Kanda, like Allen, was escaping. Escaping from the harsh reality that often knocked on his door, chasing him out of the darkness he preferred.

It annoyed him to no end.

He wanted to remove that unmistakably pained look from his mind. It was so deeply etched, it frayed his nerves.

'_That look on the Moyashi's face…' _he thought.

A small, bubbling sensation pricked at his cold heart, but it was immediately replaced with a hard cast of avoidance.

Oblivious to him, it was just buried deeper, in layers and layers of frazzled temperament.

He didn't care. He wanted to forget...

That look.


	2. Blending into Darkness

**LIAR**

**I am trying a new style of writing – the first person point of view. Tell me what you think about this chapter? And thank you to my reviewers! :D**

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**Chapter 2: Blending into darkness**

I don't know, nor do I care, whether you've ever woken up to a history of long awaited despair. I was greeted with a forecast of gloominess, it descended so thickly and cast down hard on my battered, torn emotions.

They, however, were long broken. Yet, not repaired. It was too late - too late for any replenishment of character, spirit, and emotions alike.

I knew, then, that I had been crying. Crying in my sleep. I could feel the tracks of dried up tears, which had fallen unconsciously from my tear ducts, on my cheeks. It contained a whole volume, a floodgate of released sorrow.

The mental image, was still – much to my disappointment - etched and buried in my mind.

I turned to the left side of my bed, facing the window.

The day was, ironically, dark.

How could such a bright, morning day be tarnished with heaven's tears?

And yet, and most unfortunately, it was.

It was, what I called, a paradox - A strange case of two opposite events happening at the same precise moment. The sky was intense with the dazzling sun, a beautiful crescendo of yellow to chaste bleach deepened into silky layers. However, with the pelting rain, the clouds hazed into a monochrome of murky gray. The bright lamp seemed to be strangled with dark night's temperament.

I hated such events because it only forebodes future catastrophes, foreshadowing darker shadows into my miserable life. And I also loathed it for a very simple reason that it made my heart flutter, once more, into lyrics of descending staccato like a melody of 'Wallowing grief'.

Just like how my character has been, even a little, marred by last night's event.

I couldn't forget or wipe out that image…that display at the cafeteria. It has become a part of my memory – the part that enclosed only bad ones.

What could I do?

Nothing. Simply nothing.

I closed my eyes, yet again. My eyes were heavy and tired from all the desolate actions I sank into. I could say that they turned into conspirators with night's predominance, betraying what one should usually react to a fervent morning.

I heaved a heavy sigh and sat myself up against my pillow, feeling the soft cushiony bumps on my back. Lethargy, and a slightly fevered feeling I often had in those days from lack of sleep and mental overexertion, made me recoil like a small child. I hugged my knees close to my chest, snuggling for warmth, and wrapped the quilt up around my shoulders.

I stared.

I stared long and hard at my shadow, concentrating on keeping _perfect _stillness.

A low hum echoed through my eardrums, softly accompanied by the hammering rain in the backdrop, like a tampered record on the audio. In a slightly disparaging perception, like many others, I relished in the sound of solitude, my desolation was honored with constant shifting shadows that had resulted from the darkening weather outside. They moved steadily, fading around the edges and then, quickly disappearing into nothingness, into a blanket of white's enemy.

I could hear the rain outside, like sharp daggers, thrashing against my window. It pelted with strange accordance and harmony with my heart. Why? Why do I feel this way?

I had a mission today, one of no doubt awkwardness I bet, with the raven-haired teen.

Was I keen? Enthusiastic? Unless I had the daunting nature of someone who savored in a detached life - unfeeling and impassive - I would perhaps feel so.

Unfortunately, I wasn't.

Instead, I found myself dreading this day.

How would I act around Kanda? I was so sure that my bashful, shy character would, inadvertently, cause me to stammer into a list of incoherent vocabularies. Not only would it encumber our communication, Kanda would most definitely curse me for being oh so incompetent and foolish, no less.

I hated how he might be right - right about me being a burden – only someone who would cast a heavy rock upon their fellow exorcists. Basically, just right about everything and true to the last syllabus.

Perhaps I was truly an impediment - a barrier whose reason for existence was to obstruct people's path to success – just like how he had never failed to mention and mock.

Maybe I should really just…

Just what?

Exactly just what?

I didn't know what on earth I was thinking. I didn't like the depths of it either.

Was I considering declining this delegated mission? Why? Because I was afraid and awkward about yesterday'?

No.

"Am I avoiding Kanda?" I asked, my voice a frayed, hoarse whisper.

I found myself hesitant for an answer. I was scared. Scared of how such a mere, simple question could plunge me into a state of bitter ignorance.

Maybe I will find out...soon enough.

Until then, I will not rush into a state of unresolved mess.

It might just smear my senses and rational thoughts…

Aware of how late it was getting, I dragged my feet out of bed and onto the cold, hard floor. I sighed for the second time that morning.

I could almost taste the bitterness of today.

ooooo

"Good morning, Allen!" a voice bellowed.

I looked up from my mountain of assorted food and saw Lenalee walking towards my table. She was carrying a tray of food, beaming.

"Morning, Lenalee." I greeted back, plastering a small smile.

"You're having a mission with Kanda today, right?' she asked, swinging her legs over the bench and settling herself opposite me.

"Ah yes...please don't remind me." I muttered, my voice was barely audible, more so to my subconscious.

Crap.

I quickly caught myself at saying that aloud and tried to disregard it with a phony smile. It fooled no one, of course. Lenalee saw right through it – as though she could read my thoughts. I could only say that I wasn't thinking logically nor do I know what I was saying. It simply rolled off my tongue like melted cheese.

Unfortunately, Lenalee heard the tone of despair etched to every word.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Nothing." I quickly replied, maybe a little too fast. I averted my gaze down at my food, not daring to look her in the eye. I was so sure her innate talent was harnessed with her aptitude to discern others' temperament. The way her eyes would narrow with concern and interest. The way she would prod and leech, sucking out whatever information you could provide. I assume that she was, indeed, a great friend - someone whom you could seek comfort and condolence in. However, I just didn't, nor do I feel, like being prodded just yet.

I was so tired. Drenched in the aftereffects of a crying slumber.

And I scored the bull's-eye, of course - not something worthy of a celebration though. I had just self-prophesied her reaction.

"Allen…" Lenalee asked, concern evident in her voice. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Of course I am!" I smiled, doubtful and hesitant, giving her another one of those fake grins. "Why do you ask?"

I could almost feel her eyes trying to penetrate through into my thoughts. It was pretty unnerving. I shifted uneasily in my seat.

"Are you sure?" she questioned gently.

I bobbed my head, and simply replied with a 'I'm really okay' look. It seemed she gave up for the next thing she asked was, "Oh okay, but you really don't look well. I take it as you didn't sleep well last night?"

I could almost sigh in relieve. I was worried that she might, in someway or another, find out about….well, my feelings towards Kanda. Argh, it was strange how aggravating it felt!

Good grief.

Then again, maybe I was really was thinking too much? How on earth would she know? It was, clearly, impossible. After all, I have been rather good at pleading ignorance and mastering a fascia. My hesitant nature covers it all like a blanket of thick darkness.

"Allen?" she waved a hand in front my face, luring me back into the realm of consciousness.

"Oh what?" I shook my head, trying to clear out those processing thoughts.

She gave me a reprimanding look, yet one filled with affection. I was sincerely touched by her trepidation towards my being, although it was hopelessly futile.

"You know, I think you should really see a doctor. You don't look well. Are you really sure you're okay?" She frowned, her delicate brows knitting into a thin line.

"Your concerns are unfounded." I replied. "That I can assure you. I've just been…having late nights. That's all. So I'm a little tired."

She didn't look convinced.

"Look, if it helps, I'll promise to visit the doctor after my mission." I smiled yet again, trying to assure her.

Fortunately it worked, for her worried face lightened up a bit.

"Okay, you have to keep your promise... Oh! I almost forgot to inform you that Nii-san requested an immediate audience with you and Kanda after your breakfast."

"Huh? But we were already briefed yesterday."

She waved a dismissive hand. "No, he mentioned something about having another exorcist on the mission. Hmm…what was her name?" Lenalee looked thoughtfully for a moment. "Oh yes! Kasha I think."

Oh no.

I dropped my chopsticks and, almost instantly, felt my stomach lurch in disgust. The mention of 'Kasha' sent an immediate wave of misery down my bloodstream. It wasn't as though I hated her. It was anything but hate, really. It was just the thought. The mere idea of going on a mission with the lovebirds and…me was just odd. I would feel so…strange, so odd, and so out-of-place with them.

I guess my day could really get worse.

I stopped eating just then, completely losing my appetite.


	3. The Train Journey

**Yay! Many thanks to the people who gave this fanfic a chance, read and reviewed. And thanks for bearing with the unreasonably long update! Thank you to you beautiful people out there! :)**

**Chapter 3: The Train Journey**

"Honestly, what on earth were they thinking? Are they daft? Or plain stupid?" asked Kasha in a rather rhetorical tone, giving her long hair a vigorous toss. "Just what _were _they thinking?" She frowned, twitching her otherwise perfectly glossy lips into a nasty snarl. It oddly reminded Allen of a female version of Yuu Kanda, if that was even remotely possible.

In a swift glance, Allen caught, Kasha throwing him a horrible, disdainful look – the kind of look one gets when playing gooseberry. And considering the situation he was in – compellingly seated opposite the lovebirds – he was.

Why, the look was most inappropriate! It wasn't as though he had chosen to be here in the first place. The mission was initially designated to only the both of them (Kanda and Allen) until Kasha deemed it highly illogical and shrilly claimed 'physical separation in relationships is much the cause for an emotional breakdown!' So she happily decided, after much verbal accusation of potential breakup pushed to the strained Supervisor Komui, to tag along.

Thus, you can plaintively see the unjust treatment towards a duty-bound Allen Walker. It wasn't his fault, honestly! Allen thought, feeling exasperatedly and lethargic all the same. As if any sane man would choose to be stuck in the middle of a lovely-dovey couple, metaphorically speaking of course.

As roughly briefed by the Supervisor, they were to follow up on a previously failed mission in Romania by two exorcists who had, unfortunately, left nothing but mere effaced tracks of a possible fierce battle against four Level 2 Akumas or, as Supervisor Komui estimated, perhaps even more.

"I'm not sending you to your deaths." said Komui gravely. "And should you, by any chance, stumbled upon those hordes of Akumas…." His voice trailed off. "I suggest you leave. And leave immediately. No direct confrontation. No staying on. Get as much information as you can and leave. It seems dispatching Finders to Romania will validate no returns."

"_You mentioned there was no strange phenomenon occurring, therefore, why those strong fortifications?" Allen enquired, skimming through the pages of their mission booklet._

"_You don't require a strange phenomenon to attract the Akumas or further the Earl's plan to destroy the earth and call for annihilation." said Komui, pushing his glasses to the bridge of his nose. "My guess is directed at a possible source of unorthodox power which the Earl seeks to exploit and therefore destroy humanity itself."_

_Their faces were grim._

"_However, those are merely my inductions, which paints very baseless assumptions. You are to find out the precise location of that power, the arbitrary units of Akumas stationed and," By some trick of the light, Komui's glasses turned opaque. "Return home, safe."_

Since they first boarded on the express train in mid-afternoon, Kanda and Kasha had been joined at the hip like an inseparable young couple on their first honeymoon. Or rather, to be more explicit, it was Kasha who chose to throw her entire weight on Kanda, leaning against his left shoulders and clinging onto his arm, doing what any other needy and dissatisfied girlfriend would do.

She sulked, knowing Kanda was once again lost in his own reverie – or ignoring her on all accounts.

"Kanda, don't you think we should do something about this?" she prodded further, tugging the sleeve of his coat. "It's..."

She threw another disdainful look at Allen who was sitting perfectly still, perfectly quiet or perfectly annoyed rather.

'This is not happening to me…this is not happening to me…this is a nightmare which will cease to exist as a mere horrific memory in a matter of minutes…' This self-inspired, newly created synthetic jingle had been replaying itself over and over again in poor Allen's mind. It was the best he could make do with. Acting like he didn't exist, mentally chiding his bad luck and blending into the lavish red seats of the First Class Cabinet.

"Well, it's inconvenient if you ask me." She continued, averting her gaze back to her lover. Her piercing blue eyes penetrating into Kanda's perfectly still gaze. "What on earth were they thinking, asking _us _to share a cabinet with another?"

'Well, it's not like I'm willingly to share either,' Allen grounded his teeth. 'But I'm bearing with it for the sake of simply being cooperative. Inconvenient? I think there's a lavatory somewhere down the corridor.' He'd rather share an economy class with strangers, putting up with these two – or Kasha's whining rather – was straining his ears and simply rubbing more salt into his wounds.

Kanda was silent.

"And it's not like the headquarters are hard on cash or something. Surely they could spend more lavishly on our welfare?"

Hard silence.

"Honestly, some people ought to know when to make themselves scarce." She added, her years of polished Cambridge accent descending into a slight sardonic tone.

Kanda turned swiftly from the window and looked sharply at her.

"The only person who should make herself scarce is you." The samurai said dryly. "You're disturbing my sleep so shut up."

Allen, not really believing his ears, tensed, his gaze flicking from Kanda to Kasha, as if gauging the possibility of a volcanic eruption between any of the two hotheads. He was certain on a matter, however, that he should, by hook or crook, worm his way out of this emotionally suffocating space. But the fear of becoming psychologically (or perhaps physically?) involved in this complex word battle stapled him to his seat.

Kasha's face was stern and black. "Excuse me?" she cried shrilly, stamping her high-heels on the floor and standing up from the comfortable position that Kanda had generously granted her. "I was looking out for _our_ benefits!"

"Our benefits?" Kanda raised an eyebrow. "You make me laugh. Did the operators not just apologize that it was peak period and all the cabinets were taken up? Are you daft? Or plain stupid?"

Allen could have sworn he saw Kasha's eyes expanding into the size of saucepans – having her own words thrown back in her face.

"That's besides the point," she argued. "I just meant –"

"I don't care what you meant or anything you said for that matter." Kanda snapped. "I'm tired and if you wish to persist in your senseless rambles, I suggest you leave."

Having said that, Kanda threw back his head to lean against the cushioned headrest, looking nonchalant, unbothered and completely at ease with the ironically fueled up and intense atmosphere.

Kasha, for her part, was enraged. She balled her hands into fists, distorted her pretty face into an ugly snarl and went 'hmmp!' before making her grand departure by slamming the door hard.

It was like watching one of those soap opera drama series where the female lead storms off in a rage, her lover, the male protagonist, tailing after her fallen tears, and Allen as the audience. Except, Kanda wasn't your average play-along character for he simply couldn't care less and Allen, poor kid, was an unwilling spectator in this strange turn of events in which he has conformed his sub-conscience to believe was a mere hallucination.

Nowhere in Allen's arsenal of responses, replies, and reactions did he have anything for this.

Then again, when it comes to the affairs of the heart, Kanda was always the first to surprise – or shock.

The awkward silence that followed closely further taut his muscles and somehow, in some odd way, Allen felt he was to blame.

Was it his fault that Kasha and Kanda ended up in a heated argument? If anything, it must be his presence. Perhaps he should have insisted on a separate seat? Perhaps he shouldn't be here in the first place? Perhaps…perhaps…Those conceding self-allegations angered him, he must be losing all rationale thoughts, for he vowed never to be emotionally tied in to relationships – especially ones which he had been avoiding so intently.

Allen shifted uneasily in his seat, he also felt for some reason that he should say something – anything at least, but out of emotional disorientation and perplexities he couldn't bring himself to; it might tense up the scarcely breathing silence, when the argument had been sudden and disconcerted.

'This is not happening to me…this is not happening to me…this is a nightmare which will cease to exist as a mere horrific memory in a matter of minutes…and there's nothing more I would like best than to return quickly to the headquarters and eat Jerry's cooking.'

"Is eating really all you could think of?"

Kanda's question startled Allen for he suddenly jerked in his seat.

"There ought to be food restraint order put on you for the better of mankind and for the continued existence of food supply." commented Kanda in his usual mocking tone. His crude remarks were nonetheless radically incongruous to his former denunciation. And it seemed, to Allen, that Kanda might be trying to ease the blatant discomfiture.

"EH?!" Allen stood up from his seat and pointed a finger at him. "Stop reading my mind! It's scary!"

"Hn, don't flatter yourself, bean sprout, your thoughts are of no interest to me. I was compelled to listen to your oblivious mutters."

"Well, you could have act like you always do. Ignoring me and my what do you call? Annoying rants?" added Allen in his sarcastic overtone, settling himself back onto the warm seat.

Waiting for Kanda's cutting remark or anything remotely similar to a nasty comeback, Allen was instead left facing a vulnerable looking young man.

Kanda's eyes were still closed, with his arms folded, and head tilting slightly to his right on the headrest.

'He looks so beautiful when he's asleep…well, only when you are asleep.' He added as an afterthought.

Kanda's long eyelashes fluttered briefly, and with each breath intake, Allen could see, his chest heaving up and down slowly. His smooth skin, perfectly placed features and utter angelic expression were certainly a fascia for a man who dedicates half his spare time in tormenting others with insults and crude remarks.

Looking at the raven-haired man and the rare peaceful look on his face, Allen felt if it was even remotely possible for him to sleep peacefully, without the incessant anticipation for another mission, another job as an exorcist to destroy the Akumas. And in some sad, twisted way, Allen found himself somewhat similar to Kanda's obsession - the duty, the constraints, chained and bounded to an innate lifelong battle.

"Didn't know you were capable of gawking at people of the same sex."

"What? You're still awake?" Allen's breath halted and he jumped from his seat the second time in an hour.

"Hard not to when you have someone's eyes practically pouring into you," Kanda snarled. "It's surprising though, even for you, I didn't know you were capable of daydreaming of anything other than food."

Allen glowered at him, mentally kicking himself for being caught in the act.

"I was not daydreaming about you." He retorted feebly, in a weak attempt to salvage what was left of his dignity and pride. He puffed up, seeing Kanda smirk in contempt.

"Anyhow, I'd have you know that I don't swing your way, bean sprout. I'm not into guys. And even if I was, I wouldn't turn bisexual for a kid like you." said Kanda, his voice dripping with condescension.

A kid?! Who was he kidding?

"Kanda, I would thank the Good Lord for their decisive act in keeping you straight. Though I can't figure out how you have socially conformed your mind into believing that the entire population is in love with you. For some inscrutable reason perhaps? Oh wait," Allen paused to get the dramatic effect put across. "I think that's called egocentric? Or was it narcissistic? Well, their definitions are all parallel anyhow."

That remark churned out a malicious scowl on Kanda's face.

"Even if the entire population was in bloody love with me, I wouldn't let a kid like you in line." He snarled. "As if I would humiliate myself, demeaning my taste to the lower caste."

"Narcissistic."

"Stupid bean sprout."

"Egocentric."

"Lower caste."

"Pitiful lover!" Allen spat out.

Kanda stumbled over his newly created name-call for his eyes widen slightly. "What did you just call me?"

"Well, aren't you?" Allen stressed on accusingly. "You had the entire Black Order in chaos after announcing your relationship with Kasha and now, to think you would actually allow your girlfriend to leave without a word. If that doesn't make you a pitiful lover, I don't know how else to describe you."

"Oh? So you have miraculously transformed into a guru at couple relationships now? Humor me, bean sprout, if you could so much as to think that you even know what's going on or anything about me for that matter." said Kanda and his eyes darkened noticeably, the usual silver specks in his orbs turned into a dark, malicious black.

Allen squinted his eyes and twisted his mouth, an act of defiance when lost for rebuttals. And as quickly, or oddly rather, as it started, Kanda sighed and closed his eyes – leaning back to the comforts of his headrest. His head was throbbing badly and the dim lighting that swayed in conjunction with the moving train was straining his eyes.

Childishly, Allen rejoiced in his head, though he was slightly taken aback by that look of utter exhaustion. Perhaps it was the soft yellow hue emitted, accentuated by the looming darkness outside, Kanda looked ten years older.

"You win, bean sprout, but don't think I'll let it pass that easily." conceded Kanda as he rested one hand on his forehead.

'He must be really, really worn-out by all those continuous missions and yet," Allen thought faintly. 'he denies himself of any possibility to rest. He's just...like me...'

"My God, stop daydreaming about me, bean sprout. It's disgusting."

"I'm not daydreaming about you!" shouted Allen, getting all ridiculously fired up.

"Fine, bean sprout." said Kanda and his voice suddenly took on a new kind of resonance. "Now be quiet. You're bothering me. I haven't had so much as a decent nap for 2 days straight."

"Sorry." Allen slumped back.

There was a little silence, filed by the occasional sharp howls of wind tearing out across the windowpanes. The moon had emerged fully to extend its yellowish hue, with its dark companion; the train rode through blurry lines of green, dark brown and steel black. They had been traveling for four hours now, the journey was excruciatingly far, considering the geographical location of Romania, and it would be in wee hours of the morning before they reached their destination.

Allen peered closely, daring to wade in an inch closer, to his companion before him.

Kanda was fast asleep, breathing softly.

It was this kind of circumstance, this kind of fateful turn of events – Allen hated – that twisted his stomach into a tight knot. He was left with the most compelling of sub-conscience theory, which granted him no mercy in sorting out the complex roots of affection and love.

Knowing full well the brevity of infatuation, he sought after the small fire ignited in his heart.

Allen shook his head as an afterthought, warming himself up with farfetched thoughts of possible civility between the both of them. Allen nuzzled himself next the wall, rubbing his hands vigorously for some warmth, and slowly allowed slumber to consume him.


	4. Kruser Fall

**LIAR**

**A/N: Most apologetic I am for leaving this story without any updates for a year. This chapter is an introductory phase to the events ahead! So, no romance or flirting here. xD Next chapter will have lots of drama, though! (hint hint)**

**Historical factuality of the Romanian empire, pertaining especially to the dates and geography mentioned, are misrepresented in the storyline.**

**Chapter 4: Kruser Fall**

The staleness and cool air shrouded the train, and wisps of gray smoke veiled the transporting vehicle, leaving visibility an impairment and forming nothing but silhouettes of the alighting commuters.

Three figures stood promptly before the departing train, brown suitcases in hands and leather black cloaks billowing against the strong wind. Their distinctly incongruous appearance raised a couple inquisitive stares and glances from passer-bys.

Allen shivered visibly as another rush of wind rattled against his cloak, his bones chilled and skin cold to the touch. Oddly enough, he found himself not so much cold from the biting wind but the icy stares which he had been receiving since his landing at Station Moldavia.

"_It seems we have the government of Wallachia on our track." Komui shifted his glasses, despondent. "To put it bluntly, they have closed the doors on our faces."_

"_Wallachia?" Allen stared down at his mission deployment documents. "Did the government not receive word of our coming?"_

"_Yes, they have indeed and in response to our proposal to warrant our people the authority to investigate their sites, imposed a government blockade on all incoming vehicles and travelers. I'd submit a report to the higher authority regarding this matter and–"_

"_And have them remove the blockade for us?" Kanda interjected, "It is not in my knowledge that the Black Order would, in their self-servicing interests, possess sudden kindness to assist an exorcist in his mission."_

_Malevolence was smeared in every word, and the room took a sudden dip in temperature._

_The Supervisor, however, remained unfazed and he threw a soft, almost apologetic look. "I understand where you're coming from.. the paperwork would need at least a month to be processed. What do you propose then, Kanda kun?"_

_Kanda's eyes remain transfixed on the map that was neatly clipped to the file of documents. He traced a finger across the map diagonally, stopping at the North East. "Station Moldavia. Since the government denies any passage of entry, we'll just have to create another route ourselves."_

Station Moldavia, the only operating transportation site for Moldavia, was a neighboring state of Wallachia – their designated area of investigation. Formerly known as the hub region of Romania, Moldavia flourished and thrived economically with travelers and tourists from all walks of life. Its former glory however was now covered in mud and ruins, having been a proxy country for a war, a manifestation of the war-torn now breathed through the cracked walls and pavements. Psychological warfare was but another crucial component of the war, and it had undoubtedly produced the most far-reaching and drastic effects on the Moldavia denizens, leaving them suspicious and filled with bitter hatred for foreigners who have purportedly come to 'soil' their land.

Allen, having equipped himself with the historical knowledge of Moldavia, knew only too well of their current ill condition. They were labeled as nothing more but uninvited strangers.

"I believe the situation calls for us to move on, and move on quickly." Allen glanced around their surroundings, and the general impression he had formed in his mind of their current circumstance was most daunting.

Kasha rolled her eyes at his comment, "Since when were _you_ allowed to give orders? I don't recall ever having regarded you as our leader." She folded her arms, putting up a show of impertinence.

"Orders? I –"

"There is no reason for you to offer any explanation, Moyashi," interrupted Kanda, looking at neither of them but darting his eyes warily across the gloomy station and its people. "Leave her be, ignorant or a mere hindrance... Our first order of business should be finding the exit... though this may prove to be much more of challenge than I have predicted."

True enough, more people have started gathering, albeit slowly, towards them. They moved cautiously, faster with each pace. Inaudible words left their lips, and they crowded together speaking in low, hushed tones.

"Let us make haste," said Kanda. "Any moment longer would have us enveloped in human hordes."

"We will not have you outsiders treading on our motherland!" A sudden voice erupted from the crowd. A middle-aged man, clothed in tattered overalls, emerged – face clutched with anger. "We have had enough of you sinners coming down 'ere and ruining our country! Get out! Get out!"

Like a burning matchstick to a pile of wood, the man's remark took its immediate effects on the crowd, flames of hatred ignited in the voices of the people.

"GET OUT OF OUR COUNTRY!"

"Argh, as if anyone would actually wish to travel here. This place is disgustingly foul!" Kasha hissed under her breath.

"Sorry," Kanda took a firm grip on his katana. "We have little time to entertain your welcome party. Five seconds, or I'll simply cut through all of you!"

The tenacious mob refused to back down.

"SINNERS! SINNERS, THEY CURSED OUR LANDS!"

"Damn you, outsiders," the same man stepped forth. "Our country was cursed 'cause of all you damn outsiders!"

'Cursed?' thought Allen, in all his readings of the documented Moldavia history has there never once been any mention of a curse. It piqued his curiosity because the Black Order would most certainly have this recorded down in their statistics. Yet, Supervisor Komui had asserted the lack of any strange occurrences, and the reason to which they were dispatched to this area was on a follow-up basis.

"Come now, my dear friends, let us be mindful of our words." came a soft, Romanian-accented voice above the boorish shouts of hateful intent.

The throngs of people dispersed, almost too dutifully, to reveal a tall, slender young man. He took quick strides, past the crowd with faces riveted with god-like adoration and esteem, halting only a few steps from Allen.

His tailored, dark clothes was fast to capture the attention of the three exorcists – the man's well-groomed and handsome appearance was manifestly out of place in the poverty-stricken setting.

Allen looked him in the face, a well-structured feature – sharp prominent nose, thin lips and a fine chiseled chin - he found himself more drawn to the dark blue eyes that glinted under the dark tangle of brown hair.

"Governor of Moldavia," he said in bureaucratic tone. "I believe I possess the right to question the purpose of your visit."

Allen was startled. Why, the man was barely in his 20s!

"Be rest assured, governor, Moldavia is not our area of intent." Kanda said dispassionately.

The young man raised a brow. "Not your area of intent? Despite having arrived at our station, if not the state itself.. pray tell, where else could you and your companions (his eyes lingered a moment on Allen) make journey of?"

"That, you have no need to know," Kanda stared hard, eyes aloof. "We will be out of your way soon enough, governor, if you and your people would let us pass."

The otherwise pacified crowd was beginning to heat up, enraged perhaps, from the disrespectful attitude displayed towards their governor.

"Wallachia. We are heading to Wallachia state," Allen spoke up finally. He had felt for very compelling reason that he should steer the conversation away from Kanda. The last they needed was an angry mob of townsfolk on their trail!

"Wallachia?" The young man faltered over his answer. "That city has imposed a blockade since last week and has denied any passage of entry forthwith, travelers such as yourself would find barren results in your undertaking."

"Yes, we are well aware of that, governor, and have decided to make head of our journey from Moldavia station. We..." Allen's voice trailed off, unsure of how to proceed with this conversation and unsure of how much he should divulge in the Governor of their investigation. Would he assist them? Or would he, like the government of Wallachia, perceive their proposal to be detrimental to their city and chase them out of the country?

Allen decided to take a bet on the former. "And we hope to acquire your assistance, governor."

"Just one question before I give you my word on this matter," the young bureaucrat said, abruptly. "What is your objective in going to Wallachia? As a neighboring state, I am pledged with a responsibility to protect not only this city but Wallachia, and I would be deemed inefficient and irresponsible in my duties as a governor if I readily consent to strangers with unknown motives."

Allen looked at Kanda, who nodded at him.

"Well, we received word from our superiors of missing colleagues who have been previously dispatched to that city. It has now become our assignment to retrace the steps which they have taken and locate their whereabouts. They may still be out there, alive, in the wilderness of Wallachia, and searching for means to contact us." Allen produced for him two polaroid pictures, depicting clear faces of their missing counterparts on the glossy print.

"Very well," said the man at last, returning the photos. "Our city may disapprove of wandering foreigners, but we are not so heartless as to turn away a call for assistance when your intentions are so clearly defined to be in goodwill and camaraderie."

Allen let out a long relieved sigh, not knowing he had held his breath in trepidation. "Thank you, Mr... ?"

"Kruser. Kruser Fall." His blue spheres rested on Allen's.

Allen smiled, silently glad to have the governor as their aide, the crowds have began to disregard their presence. He then, in civility and formality, introduced himself and his company to the bureaucrat, revealing everything but their association with the Black Order.

"Now, the night has fallen, it does not bode well for visitors unfamiliar to our lands to roam around at this hour of darkening." Faint shadows have started to creep out from under their feet. "We can speak into greater lengths at my humble abode." He continued, making a gesture towards the exit, there was a horse-drawn carriage waiting.

"Ah! Thank you so much for your invite, Mr. Fall! But... um..." Allen turned to look at the couple. "We were dispatched as a team, so..."

"Oh, fine by me," Kasha titled her head at Kruser in a winsome manner, smiling flirtatiously. "What do you say, Kanda? Let's go to this gentleman's house. My hands and feet are sore from all the standing and talking!"

Frank disinclination remained on Kanda's face, somehow the appearance of this gentleman and his sudden kind invitation didn't quite sit right with him, but out of mindful consideration of their circumscription he couldn't bring himself to reject an invitation from a person holding the highest command of authority in the region.

He nodded his head in consensus.

The bureaucrat smiled. "This way."


End file.
